Dear L
by DeathByFandom13
Summary: Light decides it's time to come clean to being Kira, and what better way to do so than a letter? (Possibly onesided) Lawlight, oneshot, trigger warning.
Dear L,

I am writing you this letter to tell you that I am Kira.

Yes, I do know that you expected this, and I will enclose proof along with this confession to murdering thousands of people.

The murder weapon is a notebook. I will attach it with this letter. It is called the Death Note, and if you write someone's name in it, they die. Once you burn it, I will retain no memories of ever owning it, writing anyone's name down in it, or anything to do with it. I will, however, remember you, Misa, the Task Force, and everything I have learned during my stay in the tower with everyone.

This does sound improbable, nearly impossible, but I can prove it. If you write down my name, and whatever specifications you wish to add for my death, I will die.

I want to die, L. I can't live on knowing that I have murdered countless people in cold blood, without any remorse. Even though they were criminals, I still took away life. The FBI agents died, Naomi Misora died. Innocent blood is on my hands, and there is no way for me to clean it off. For a while, I even was trying to kill you. The shinigami Rem was going to write down your name, finally getting rid of you and any obstacles that might be in my way.

But something else got in my way, besides my conscience.

I realized that I had fallen in love with you. And not the simple lust that many of my age feel for others; a love that had in reality, been tested many more times than I at first believed. In the beginning, I dismissed these feelings as teenage hormones, a normal happening at my age. But after around three months of working with you and the Task Force, I realized that it was more than a simple crush, a small feeling of lust for a friend.

In the beginning, I didn't believe it. It had shattered everything I thought I was, and built up a new Light Yagami. One that planted a seed of doubt in the mind of the god, Kira. _Am I really justice? Shouldn't I believe in L? What is really going on here? Will killing these criminals really make anything better?_

I was a mess. We were both trying to kill each other- yet I had developed feelings. Believing it couldn't get any worse, I gave up my memories and agreed to confinement. That was all fine, even if I felt like I was wrongly imprisoned, but it was nothing compared to being handcuffed to you.

I was handcuffed to the one person I had ever found attractive. Always attached to you, constantly with you….I felt like it couldn't be any harder on me, until you had to go and take a shower with me. Do you have any idea how much pressure that put on me? The one person I love, in a shower with me? My mind was going crazy. You were a foot away from me, naked, bare. In a shower. With me.

God, you look sexy with your hair wet. I don't know why I'm confessing all of this here, on easily copied and stealable paper, but I need to get it out. If you do not kill me with the Death Note within 24 hours of receiving this letter, I will kill myself. Obviously, I can't prevent you from stopping me, but if you do I will try everything in my power to end my own life.

Even if you keep me alive, for whatever reason, and burn the Death Note, I will most likely still have depression and feel the exact same way. Even if I have no idea where those feelings would come from, I would still have them, and want to end my life no matter what happens.

You could consider this a suicide note, I suppose, so once I am gone, please apologize to Sayu and my mother for me. They wouldn't understand any part of this, or why I would do it, so please just tell them that I was killed by Kira. Because I will have been. Kira is the reason I want to die, and he will be the reason I end my life.

I'm scared, L. Scared that Kira will take over again. Scared that I will hurt you more than I have already, scared that I will hurt the people I love. But most of all, I'm scared of myself. I am Kira, and the fact that thousands have died is my fault. My own two hands killed thousands. But the worst part is that I still think that people should die if they commit crimes.

I suppose that this is the last move I make, L.

It was fun playing, but I surrender. You have won the game.

Congratulations, friend.

Goodbye,

Light Yagami


End file.
